Argy-bhaji

I had just locked the garage door when I noticed the coriander had bolted. And what with the rather sad looking fennel in the fridge I realised I needed to turn my neglect into something positive. The crisp crunch of anything deep-fried is a textural pleasure and as naughty as it feels, it doesn't necessarily mean it's unhealthy. Unless of course we are talking Mars Bars or perhaps a saveloy, made from who knows what. Vegetable tempura, crisp on the outside and delicate within, salt and pepper prawns, elderflowers, even. If you keep it hot and quick and don't do it every day, things will be ok.So to rescue the fennel I used it in place of onions in a bhaji. And I plucked what coriander leaves and stems I could save and blitzed them with green chillies and garlic to make a fiery green chutney to dip the zesty, spiced fennel into.These are also good with a herby yoghurt dip if there are children or chilli scaredy-cats lurking around the place. If you don't have some of the spices, which I admit can be a little tricky to get hold of (unless you live near Tooting) feel free to leave them out. For an even speedier version, just make a batter with garam masala or curry powder, it will still be delicious.IngredientsFor the batter:5 cloves1tsp fennel seeds1tsp coriander seeds1tsp black mustard seeds1tsp amchoor (mango) powder1/2tsp nigella seeds1/2tsp tukmuria (basil) seeds1tsp cumin seeds1/2tsp cardamon seeds1tsp turmeric powderSalt and pepper to season100g Chickpea flour (gram flour)Enough water to make a batter as thick as double cream.1 fennel bulb, slicedFor the chutney:A large handful of coriander leaves and stemsA few green chilliesA clove of garlicA splash of cider vinegarA pinch of saltMethodGrind the spices to a powder and mix with the chickpea flour. Stir in the water to make a batter.Meanwhile, blitz the chutney ingredients together in a blender and set aside.Heat two litres of rapeseed oil in a deep-fat fryer to 180c or half fill a heavy-based saucepan with the oil and heat. It's ready when you drop a little batter in it and it immediately sizzles and starts to colour.Dip the fennel in the batter and fry in small batches. Drain on kitchen paper and serve hot with the chutney.This weekWatchedBirdman with Michael Keaton. Excellently acted and directed, I really felt we were part of the theatre. A few bits of it left me a little cold and annoyed, although perhaps that's because we were watching it outside as part of the Crystal Palace festival. ListenedMoses Boyd, Time and Space, and Absolute Zero. Two contemporary Jazz albums from a young man born in Catford. Very, very good.ReadSome poems by John Hegley and a few more by Joe Duggan, two of the performers we saw at the Antenna Studios spoken word event as part of the  C.P. festival again. Both as enjoyable as ever. John Hegley is a master. And very grumpy too. And Joe's soft Irish delivery and witty lyricism can be both warm and poignant at once.

Rice to the occasion

 "I quite like them" said Noah after he'd eaten half an arancini and left the rest on the kitchen bench, wandering off to then hole up in a corner with a book. Bee says she still thinks they're a strange idea (I mean, who wouldn't love a deep-fried rice ball? And Maya, whom I think perhaps ate too many strawberries before supper gingerly nibbled the corner off and then stared into space for a while, dreaming up her next, no doubt cheeky move.The past week has been bonkers, we are longing for some calm evenings in our life, that don't involve falling asleep face down in the soup.After sitting on a chair made of the hardest substance known to man in a howling ice gale at Crystal Palace's outdoor cinema, part of the annual Crystal Palace Festival, my bum is only just getting some feeling back into it. The film, Sideways, will now forever be associated with numbness in the bottom. And lack of any feeling in my fingers and toes. These are some of the problems I have to deal with in my life. It's difficult.Another part of the festival, and in a performance of true Englishness, the spoken word evening we went to was as if Totnes were on LSD. Accordions and typewriters accompanied whispered poetry in a baking hot room again on rocks for seats. The heat had made the room smell very human, like a poetry school changing-room.And in a modern tableau, at the festival itself, while the sun baked down on us, a nun, staring into her phone while walking along bumped into me. Perhaps she thought God would guide her. Perhaps he was on another call.Among all this, there has been good food, especially at one of my favourite restaurants, Alle Testiere from Venice doing a guest night at Polpetto in Soho. That was a real treat. Delicious seafood, spider crab, Venetian snacks and more all came to me in London. Sadly, we couldn't get a  babysitter, so Bee stayed at home. Although she's not that keen on seafood, so it could have appeared to be a little convenient.And that reminded me that I've been meaning to make arancini for ages. Nothing to do with Venice, but I did eat little deep-fried breadcrumbed balls filled with stuff to start. So on Thursday, I busted the children out of after school club and brought them home to ignore me and my cooking. Although, I did catch Maya drinking the vinaigrette straight from the mixing jar. She loved that, at least.Ingredients300g risotto, approx550ml chicken or vegetable stock1 small onion, diced finely1 garlic clove, crushedOlive oilA large knob of butter, be generousParmesan to grate, salt to seasonPanko breadcrumbs for coating1 egg, beaten with a splash of water1 ball of mozarellaA tablespoon of beef ragu per ball (optional, you can just make cheese ones, but I like to make a batch and save it for tagliatelle during the week)Rapeseed oil for fryingMethodMake the risotto in the usual way, until it's creamy and unctuous but with a hint of bite.Shake the pan violently as you stir in a load of butter and cheese at the end then cover and leave for five minutes. Check and adjust the seasoning, risotto needs to be well seasoned.Spread the cooked rice out on a tray and leave it to cool quickly. Stir it around every now and then to help.When cool, take a small handful and put a nugget of cheese in the middle. Add a spoonful of the meat sauce if using and form a ball around the filling. Add a little more rice if you need to. I made the cheese ones into cone shapes after to differentiate them, but that's your choice.Dip each ball in beaten egg then roll in the breadcrumbs until really well covered. Dip and roll again, giving it a second coat if you feel it needs it.Heat a pan half full of the rapeseed oil or use a deep-fat fryer. Fry each ball until golden all over and drain on kitchen paper. Serve with a salad and whatever vinaigrette remains if Maya's been anywhere near it.