Mind your onions.

They're home for the next few weeks because of the school Easter holidays. I have a glut of onions from a job the other day, so to annoy them, I've decided to peel them all as an excuse to make an onion tart. This should give me a little peace as they barricade themselves in their bedroom to stem the tears like two little sans-culottes against a tide of sulphurous soldiers.So far this week, I've managed to turn a trip to the DIY shop and the fitting of a new loo seat into a family activity and am already exhausted of ideas to entertain them. And while they watch Trolls for the billionth time, I wonder whether they would be willing to help me at least make the puff pastry before demanding I put on Moana, participate in another tea party,  take them on scooters to the park, go to the toy shop, go all over the world, fix things, stop one from looking at the other the wrong way, play Frozen Top Trumps or feed them MORE FOOD.You'd think they hadn't eaten for weeks the way they keep telling me every day how hungry they are from the moment I open my eyes after Maya's cries of "Dadddyy...? ... can you come and wipe my bum" to just before they clean their teeth for bed. And this is with me even feeding them their three meals a day...I do misrepresent them, they are, ninety-five percent of the time completely delicious, so instead of enlisting them as galley slaves, they went off to the cinema, I bought puff pastry from the shop and let the oven do the work while the house was calm for a while.You can cook the onions with the sunday roast if you like, they will keep for a day,  or you can slowly cook them in butter in a large sauté pan. I layed mine in a roasting dish, drizzled them with oil and butter a dash of balsamic and a few sprigs of thyme and rosemary, poured in a little veal stock and roasted them for about an hour and a half in the oven until soft, melting, rich and golden. Then all that remained was to put them in a pie dish, lay the pastry over the top, tucking them in tightly and putting them back in for half an hour or so, until the pastry was crisp and flaky. Cooled and turned out it sits on the side waiting to be served with a green salad and sharp dressing.IngredientsA bag of onions, peeled and halved equatorially1 sheet of ready rolled puff pastry (or homemade which is far superior, just depends on your mood or willingness)A few thyme and rosemary sprigsSome olive oil and butter100ml veal stock or beef or vegetable if you preferSalt and pepper to seasonMethodHeat the oven to gas 8, whatever that is in C. I generally just turn the oven on or off and turn it down a little if things are cooking to quickly and up a bit if too slowly.Put the onions, flat face up in a baking dish and add all the ingredients except the pastry.Cook in the oven for about an hour and a half, remove and leave to cool slightly. They should be soft, caramelising and golden.Place them in a large enough but snug sauté pan so they sit tightly then tuck over and in the pastry. Poke a little hole in the middle.Cook in the oven for 25-30 minutes, until the pastry is golden, puffed and crisp.Leave to cool a little then turn out onto a large plate. Serve warm.

Simple Pleasures

Garlic grilled lobster, 24 hour slow-roast pork, smoked salmon scrambled eggs, roast chicken. The list of snacks the children are asking me for each evening they get back from after school club is becoming a joke. And now, they are demanding I just whip them up a tarte Tatin.*They already have a strong attachment to certain dishes, and as they grow up these meals will be remembered and recreated with, I hope, the same comforting happiness I attach to my childhood meals from my mum and grandparents. Most people love their mum's roast chicken, or their Granny's apple crumble. Although in my case I've developed a love for frozen chocolate gateaux wafted with the aroma of Player's Navy Cut cigarettes. It's a funny thing, nostalgia.I don't think they will talk fondly of Daddy's lark's wing soufflé with basil foam, compressed finger lime and watermelon (Nb.) but will probably look fondly on the roasts, bolognese, crumbles, 'taco day', korma with fluffy rice and soothing dhal and the simple home cooking we all crave as adults.The classics are classic for a reason. And generally survive because of their simplicity. That doesn't necessarily mean they're all completely easy to make. A beurre blanc or Hollandaise can easily split, a risotto can become as thick and stodgy as Donald Trump and a salmon steak can be as tough as a shoe if you don't pay attention. But the pleasure these simple dishes give is as joyful as a walk on a misty autumn morning or reading a book by the fire on a cold night.And so to the tarte Tatin. Or, if you prefer, the tarte Solognote. Traditionally made with apples it's the French comfort food par excellence. I also love making it with pears, but may cast my net as wide as mirabelle plums, apricots and even banana for a laugh. It also works brilliantly with shallots for a savoury version. Make sure you use a good pan that is suitable for the hob and oven. I use the incomparable prospector pan from Netherton Foundry, a thing of great beauty.This time, I made my own puff pastry from scratch. It's a wonderful thing to do and the difference is sublime. It's very easy, really, it just takes a little time so do it on a weekend, make plenty and freeze it. I'm not going to give a recipe here for it, but be prepared to use  a whole block of butter. You'll also need a dedicated spot in the kitchen, it needs rolling, folding and chilling about seven times.Failing that, buy some all butter ready-made puff pastry. You can't be as smug, but it will still give a very good result. I used a mix of Bramley and Braeburn apples this time, but fully Braeburned is usually how I roll. I also sprinkled a little thyme into the mix but that's up to you. Whatever you choose to do, this is a dish of most excellent comfort.Ingredients1 Braeburn apple, peeled, cored and cut into wedges3 Bramley apples, as aboveA good handful or two of unrefined golden caster sugarA splodge of butterEnough rolled out puff pastry to cover the top of the pan with an overhang to tuck inA pinch of thyme if you likeMethodGet the oven nice and hot. About gas mark 8 or 220c.Heat the sugar in the pan until it melts and starts to turn to a soft caramel. Add the butter and neatly layer in the apples. Cook for a minute or two then add the thyme if using and layer the pastry over the top, tucking it in around the apples edges.Transfer to the oven and cook for about twenty minutes, until the pastry is risen and golden.Remove from the oven and carefully turn upside down onto a plate. Leave for a minute before removing the pan and serve hot or warm. Or eat it cold from the fridge just before bed when no-one's looking.*Not true. They normally ask for a yoghurt or banana or the occasional biscuit. We haven't raised Veruca Salt and her brother here.